You Belong With Me
by ichigo shirayuri
Summary: An A/U version of what happens 7 years after Origins. Elissa Cousland marries Teagan, she shares her life with two children whose father is the King of all Ferelden. How long can she keep this secret from him? Has some Cousland/Teagan fluff as well enjoy!
1. THE BEGINNING OF EVERYTHING

**PRELUDE; THE BEGINNING OF EVERYTHING**

* * *

I gripped my chest, the pain was utterly blinding but I knew what I had to do. I want to move but the amount of blood I have lost in the process of this final climax, spoke other words to me. I can hear the plated boots falling evenly behind me. "Elissa, you do not need to do this." Loghain's voice cut above the clash of swords around us. "Let me redeem myself, my own actions." He kneels down at my side, my gaze lifts from the fallen foe before me but it does not move. It was waiting, watching us. Knowing what the next step in this attack called for. "You have shown me what true honor is and where it comes from. You have shown me the error in my ways and now I see the only path that is fit for me to travel upon. I will make this final blow but know that I do not do it for Ferelden, I do it for the future you carry within you." I cough, the blood dripping from my lips as I topple over upon my elbows. A hand, his hand, touches the middle of my back and I know what he was asking of me. "Take it..." I mutter just loud enough for him to hear. "I will honor your wish, Loghain and I will always be honored to call you my brother." I look up, the tears stinging my eyes but I see a smile creep across his lips. "It has been an honor to call you, sister."

It was with that simple gesture the Fifth Blight was ended, when Loghain cut down the demon before us.

The light was so blinding that I took this chance to escape. I picked myself up and stumbled back to the steps. I hobble down each one, grimacing in pain from the broken ribs I carried. Alas, I find myself at the base of the Fort. My eyes skimming over the men from Redcliffe who held this position while I fought the battle upon the tower. But it was the one figure, in particular that stood out the most among them all: Bann Teagan Guerrin.

I have never felt such relief as to when I collapsed at his feet. My hands holding my ribs, knowing I had worse wounds scattered along my body. "Elissa?" He speaks my name, falling down before me. "I need a Healer!" He shouts but I was getting so tired. "Is it over-with?" He asks of me but I mutter out only two words: Loghain and dead.

I am being picked up. My body curling against the heavy chain armor of the man who carries me. A growing blackness takes me over but I urge myself to fight it. I want to live, I tell myself. "Teagan..." I call out for him. My hands finding his face in the process. Blood smearing across it from my fingertips. "I am here." He replies but there was worry in his tone. "I want to go home..." I mutter under ragged breaths but he seems to understand. "You cannot, Elissa." He corrects me but I try to fight the urge to sleep. "Then... let me die in peace?" He stops, I can feel him shift his weight. His own haunted gaze moves around the bloodied battlefield. "My lord, is that..." I can hear a cough from Teagan but I try to stay awake. "Perth, get the horses ready. We leave for Redcliffe and we are taking Elissa with us." I cough, the blood falling from my lips but that does not stop him from picking up the pace.

As the growing darkness takes over, I see only the retreating figure of Denerim and Teagan looking down to me, a small smile upon his lips.

* * *

One month since the Fifth Blight had ended. One month since I supposedly died upon the battlefield. One month since I had found I was pregnant. And now I sit before the man who saved my life that night and for many other nights after such. "Marriage?" I blink but he does not waver. "People will ask questions when you start to show." He presses. "But marriage?" I mutter, utterly dumbfounded. "That does not leave me much choice, I suppose." He moves to his feet, quick and light, something I have grown quite accustom to. "But won't they ask questions as to who I am?" I press, my fingers weaving together. Pulling at each other in a nervous twitch. "I will not lie to them if they ask." But the question left in the air was who would ask. "Does Alistair know?" I ask of him but he gives me a simple smile, one that I have also grown accustom to. "He knows of my offer for marriage but does not know of you." He answers as plainly as possible.

"Then yes, I will marry you." I move to my feet, suddenly feeling more nervous than before we started this conversation. "I do not want you to marry me if you think that it is necessary." I pressure him but he does not budge. "I would rather marry you than someone who would take me for granted." I take it as a compliment, I suppose. "And if I may ask you the same?" He moves around the study, standing only a few feet away. "I have grown to care for you Teagan, I think I can even grow to love you in the future." He smiles but weakly, only I return it this time. "Then that is all I ask."

* * *

One month after our little discussion, we were married. With a small lavish ceremony before the head of the Redcliffe Chantry, I did not mind. I would have preferred to have an even more private ceremony but I did this for Teagan. I agreed to this and I will make things work or at least try.

That night, we kept our distance from each other. He looked me over but I did not know what to say. On one hand I have only been with two men in my life. Both whom I loved more than I have ever thought. Only to lose one at the hands of Arl Howe and later, to the hands of fate. Our paths were no longer important, I have come to accept this just as I have come to accept the man standing before me. "Elissa..." He speaks my name but a smile of recognition comes to my lips and eyes. "Teagan," His name falls from my lips in an almost purring sound. "We don't have to do this now... if you wish?" We both felt the same. We felt as if we were rushing this and in truth we did rush this. "Let's wait?" I offer though apart of me regretted the offer. "I am fine with waiting." He says to me but I can see something else. "Are you sure?" I press but he smiles, the small smile I have come to love. "Yes, I am quite sure."

The next morning, we had breakfast. Quietly sitting across from each other. "A letter came this morning," Teagan speaks to me but I shrug, chewing upon a buttered biscuit. "It seems King Alistair and Eammon are coming," I look up as the biscuit falls from my mouth, landing within the bowl of porridge I had almost finished. "If you would like, I understand we can go away while they are here. Perhaps to Orlais?" I blink, a little at a loss for words. "But what about Eammon?" I ask him but he moves to his feet. "Do not worry, Elissa, Eammon will understand when he arrives and we are already gone." But what of Alistair, I ask myself. Instead I should feel grateful but I felt as if I was betraying him. Despite what he had said to me for letting Loghain live. Those words still stung when I thought about them.

"That sounds wonderful, Teagan." He smiles a little more but I have come to appreciate him.

* * *

Just as Leliana had described to me, Orlais was magnificent. The city we came to stay within was the capital; Val Royeaux. The small estate we were staying within, was comfortable. We had a small group of servants, Ser Perth and few guards but I did not fear any of them. In fact I was quite grateful for the privacy within the small estate. Though most of my time was spent wandering the city, I did however spend the other times vomiting. Yes, well I was not prepared for it. I could not keep anything down and this struck fear within both Teagan and I. Despite the fact we both have never been through this process we had visited the Chantry of Andraste only to learn that this was a common thing. I was a little confused at first but the Mother explained everything to me. Going over each and every little detail that we could possibly go through. My main fear, however, was if I would live through the pregnancy. This fear must have worried Teagan as well for we hit the libraries within the city that stored the history of the Grey Wardens. We had learned there were a few female Wardens who had children and had survived the birth. But I was more worried for the children sake. It came to my understanding that the children lived, most of the time.

We sat within the study of the small estate. Stacks of books before us both, he sighed setting the book he was reading down before him. "I do not understand, why don't we just ask the Orlesian Wardens?" I look up from the book as it rested upon my already showing stomach. "If I ask them, they will pressure me into staying. I do not want that." I clearly point this out. "Please, let us just find out as much as we can. If... if it comes down to it I will travel to Weisshaupt Fortress." He looks up to me but we both know how that could end. I would be asked to stay and I will have no say in the matter.

I move from where I was sitting, setting the book down upon the large stacks upon the small table between us. He moves over in his seat, his eyes looking away from me but though I was a little grateful for his hesitant nature I on the other hand didn't quite know how to handle myself in this situation. I was grateful that I was not alone. "Teagan," I speak his name as he looks over to me, watching me settle down next to him. "From what I have read the children survive without the taint in their system. As do the mother's..." His hand lifts, cupping my cheek gently. "We have only heard of two female Wardens who had lived through the birth. The others have all died." There was worry within his gaze but I smile, turning my lips to kiss the palm of his hand. "Then let us pray and see what the Maker has in store for the both of us."

* * *

Only three months after Orlais, we returned to Redcliffe. Slightly grateful to be home and yet afraid of what the Arl and the King could have found out while they were here. But much to my own surprise, the servants and the new Chamberlain kept everything quiet about me. I was grateful for this kind gesture but they did not mind. They were quite happy with keeping things quiet. They had stayed only for a few weeks and left immediately for Denerim. As for why, I did not know but I was glad to be back. My feet were swollen, my stomach stuck out and I ate everything in sight. Despite what the Healer had told us it was much to our own surprise when she brought a Midwife to us.

The elderly woman was kind, gentle and when she touched my sixth month large stomach she smiled. "Twins," she says looking to me to see my own reaction it would seem. But I was completely white. "T-t-twins?" She nods, impressed by this fact. "Are you sure?" Teagan asks from where he was sitting beside me. "Quite, actually." But... there were a million to one thoughts running rapid within my mind at this point. "There are two separate heartbeats, if you place your hand here..." she takes Teagan's hand without asking of him and places it upon my bare stomach. I gasp, his touch was so warm. Nothing like I had expected. His eyes close as he takes a breath, obviously not expecting our first inmate touch to be one like this. But his eyes fly open within the same second of touching me. "I can feel them... they are quite strong." He sounded amazed and I did not like the idea of being the kick ball for these two. "If you have trouble sleeping, let me know and I will mix you up something. Otherwise, I must say congratulations." Her eyes twinkle as she let's go of Teagan's hand but I don't mind his hand staying put. "Now that you are towards the end. I will need to come by once a week to check up on you." That was something to look forward too, I suppose. "Is there anything I should know, before I start making the appropriate poultices?" I glance around. Those within the room were close confidants. "I... I am a Grey Warden." I calmly say but she did not seemed surprised. "I had a feeling I knew you from somewhere." My eyes narrow slightly. "Well, it seems you do not know of the news then."

She moved away from us as Teagan's hand drops from my stomach. "What news?" He presses and she looks away. "Please, the rest of you... leave us for a bit." They bow their heads but I fix my shirt back over my stomach. "What news?" I ask her, Teagan seemed just as worried as I. "They did not find your body upon the top of the Fort only a fortnight ago. It was by decree of King Alistair that if anyone were to see you, they were to report to him. I believe it was more so for worry then anything else." She smiles a little when she turns back around to face us. "But I will not speak of this to anyone, for it is obvious to me that you deserve this. You have risked everything to save Ferelden and given an old Hero his faith back. Upon this fact, I will gladly keep your secret." But she wanted something in return. "And what would you want in return?" Teagan asks of her, almost as if he had read my mind. "To live here, to help you raise your children and to spend the rest of my years in a happy splendor. And if you two end up having more children, you will have a midwife on hand." Her eyes twinkle with those words but I share a look with Teagan. "Alright, we accept your terms." With a bow of her head, thus was the start of the rest of my nine months.

* * *

During the last set of months I had left with this pregnancy, it was during a late night excursion to the Larder that I was greeted by a familiar bark. My war hound, my Mabari had found his way to me through all of the tribulations only for me to run smack into Sten. The giant Qunari looked down to me but his harden face relaxed a bit, seeing me in such a state must have reminded him of our conversations about being female and our place within this world. "So, why are you in my kitchen?" I ask but he crosses his arms before him. "It was your hound who brought me here." It was? I look behind him to see Louie's head buried within the pork bits I had given him only awhile ago. "Are you heading back to your people?" He shifts his weight, but there was a small grateful smile there. "Yes, I can return to them now – thanks to you." Oh, right the sword. "You're welcome, Sten." I smile but much to my own surprise he touches my large stomach. "They will make fine warriors, Kadan." I feel the heat rise to my cheeks but his hand drops from my stomach. "Thank you, Sten." I feel the tears rise within my eyes but I cannot stop them. Since I had come this far within my own pregnancy, my emotional state has been... erratic. "Do not cry, Kadan. I knew you were alive but I could not stay with that man who you thought was worthy of your affections." He spoke of Alistair, I knew of this and his own impression of Alistair in general.

"Stay for the night, Sten?" His face doesn't relax, for it returns to his same harden stare. "I cannot Kadan. I only wished to return your hound to you, so you will have someone to protect you." I shift my weight when I hear the happy bark from Louie. "But I must go now. I know we may never see each other again but remember, you are the first I have come to call Kadan and I am honored to have fought along side of you." I blink back the tears when he turns to leave. Before I could react, my arms are around his middle. He doesn't move when he hears my cries but instead he weights for them to stop. "Be strong, Kadan. For what you may encounter in the future will be more difficult for you to avoid." He gave my hands a squeeze and disappeared through the servants passage out of the Castle.

The next morning I told Teagan of what had happened and he didn't seem so surprised by the encounter. "At least this gives me the excuse to purchase some Mabari." He looks down to Louie but it was the happy, lopsided grin from the beast that causes him to laugh. "If you wouldn't mind, I know of someone who would make for a fine Kennel Master." I offer and Teagan bows his head to me. "As you wish, Lissa." A smirk plays across his lips but I only laugh, returning it.

* * *

"Lissa, pack some clothes." I look up from the book I was reading but it was the heavy breathing from Teagan that tells me there is more to this. "Why?" I ask of him but he grips my elbow, moving me to my feet quickly. "Eammon and King Alistair are arriving soon to speak with me and... I want you to go with Helena and Perth. Take Ashalle and Baldwin with you, as well as Louie. There is a small estate in the middle of the Lake that is very private." I blink, utterly lost but I knew his urgency. "If the children come, Baldwin will send his hawk to tell let me know." I grimace not wanting to move much since I was well past my own due date. By two weeks, exactly.

I do not waver when he helps me find spare clothing and hand me a pack. "Be careful, my love." And for the first time in my life, he kisses me. His lips were gentle, hesitating but I press them further. Parting his own to meet my own, my hands wrapping around his neck, bringing him down to my own height. He pulls away when there came a knock at our door. "My lord, we must go." Perth stands behind him and I pull away. "I promise you, I will be there as soon I can." He kisses my forehead as I am being whisked away with Perth towards another hidden passage leading down to the lake.

The boat rocking side to side makes my stomach churn a few times, feeling this queasy seemed almost natural. Until I start to throw up over the boat. Helena holds my hair back from my mouth as the house comes into view. The small dock was a welcoming sight at least. We pull up at the side but Baldwin stays with the dock. I do not ask as to why because I already knew, he would wait.

The moment my foot hits the front step, the pain comes. It was so utterly overwhelming that I clutch my stomach. The sharp stabbing spreads through out my whole body, tears clutch my eyes as I fall to my knees. "My lady!" I hear Perth's worried call behind me and the gentle licking from Louie against my cheeks. "I'm... fine..." I groan but the pain is almost too much for me. "Quickly, pick her up and follow me!" I can hear Helena ahead of us as I am being picked up by Perth. He cradles me, as I can hear the terrified whines from Louie as he follows behind us.

I am set upon the bed but something wet spreads through my gown, causing me to scream in more pain but Helena stuffs some sort of cloth between my teeth. "Bite down on this, it will help." I am tired suddenly, I close my eyes but the last thing I hear is Helena barking orders to get the Bann here as soon as possible.

For the next twelve hours I was in labor. The pain was unbearable but Helena stuck by my side through it all. I grip the ungloved hand of Perth as we wait for Teagan to get here. I scream, I bite down upon the cloth between my teeth but the pain was too much. Nothing helped me through this as I can hear Helena between my legs. "Almost there, darling." She speaks to me gently, pushing me to keep going. "Push, just push." Perth mutters in my ear but I squeeze down upon his hand and I hear the grunt of pain from him in the process. "I can see the head!" Helena cries but I do not know how to keep going. I push and push and after nearly two hours of pushing, I held two small children in my arms. She brushes away the sweat from my head with a cool cloth when the bedroom door swings open abruptly.

Teagan stood there, trying to catch his breath. "I'm sorry... I couldn't make it here sooner..." He apologizes but it was when his eyes land upon me, everything within him relaxes. A gentle, carefree smile replaces the breathless look in his eyes. "Maker's breath, you're beautiful." I look up to him, giving him a small sheepish grin as I hand the children to Helena. She picks them up, carefully and hands them both to Teagan. Helping him positioning them in each arm he looks between the two of them. "A boy and a girl, it would seem." I let my head fall back against the pillows. "Do you have a name for them?" He asks of me as he moves to the newly set up cribs for them.

"Maric Duncan Bryce Guerrin and Eleanor Morrigan Rowan Guerrin." A smile eases across his lips so naturally that even I give him another sheepish grin. "They will bring honor back within those names, I think." That was all I asked. I reach my hand out to him and he moves to the bed, settling down next to me. "Remind me, to give Ser Perth a gift for sticking through this." I yawn, resting my head upon his shoulder. "Sleep, you need it." With a kiss upon my forehead I do not ask for nothing more as I relax against him, letting the sleep overwhelm me.

* * *

**A/N: **I know there were quite a few of you who had this story already alerted but I want to aplogize for restarting it. I did not like how it went at first so I decided to start anew. There will still be some heavy moments through the story but there will also be some hiliarious moments as well! Which shall make for some excitment! As usual, enjoy as I continue to work on this story. It might not be as long as I had planned but this should be entertaining, none the less! Much love! And I hope everyone enjoys it! ;)

I do not own Dragon Age, it belongs to Bioware! *-*


	2. I AM THE NIGHT, YOU ARE THE DAY

**CHAPTER ONE; I AM THE NIGHT AND YOU ARE THE DAY**

* * *

"Mistress?" I look up from the book I could not pry my eyes from. "The Arl sent you a letter from Denerim." She sets the letter down before me, upon the desk. For the first time in a week, the desk was actually clear of clutter. I had managed to finish the payments to the workers, even added a small bonus after the week before disaster. A mixture of Maric and Eleanor with the two Mabari pups that had imprinted upon them. My own, Louie, rested under my feet as Ashalle smiles seeing me sit up hesitantly. "Did he send anything else?" I ask her, but she shakes her head. "No, he did not Mistress." Hmm, I hum to myself ripping open the letter.

_My Love; I do not wish to be the bearer of bad news._

My heart sinks, with his first line. Despite what I was reading, we both knew that something like this would come down to it. He was having a difficult time dodging their questions as to who his wife was, who his children were and my heart sinks all the way down to my stomach.

_I suppose that this is not the right way to start this letter but I am left with little choice. Eammon has been asked to step down as Adviser of the King. He is returning to Redcliffe and retiring within one of the smaller estates. I was asked to take the Arling of Denerim and become his majesty's new Adviser. I know what you are thinking. I hear that according to your brother and by the word of the King the last remaining Howe. A Nathaniel Howe has accepted the position as the Arl of Redcliffe. I must ask you one thing._

I urge myself to finish the letter but I know what it will say. It will say that we are to pack up everything and leave for Denerim as soon as possible. To get set-up and greet the King. I look up to my elven hand-maiden Ashalle. She had stuck by my side for these past seven years. I have never truly had a female friend, since Morrigan and Leliana. Even Wynne, whom I know that if I saw again would fire-blast me to the moon. She is studying me, her sharp eyes taking all of the emotions that cross my own. "Are you alright, Mistress?" I watch her carefully but a slow nod comes to me as I look down to the letter.

_Nathaniel Howe will arrive within a day of this letter. I ask that you send everyone ahead and stay behind with him. Help him get comfortable. When he is, come to Denerim. It will be there that we will explain... everything to his majesty._

Nathaniel Howe, now that was a name I have not heard in many, many years. I was nearly thirty now but he was only a few years older than I. But I haven't seen him since I was sixteen. "Nathaniel," I speak his name but worry crosses Ashalle's eyes. "Who is Nathaniel?" I look up not realizing I spoke his name aloud. "He will be Redcliffe's new Arl." She blinks, letting this sink in for a second. "Oh..." I nod going back to the letter in my hands.

_Remember, I love you Lissa. And I did not agree to this without putting up a fight. King Alistair has become quite headstrong in these past seven years. I will be waiting for you to return to me with open arms. I love you; Teagan._

I grimace, moving to my feet taking Louie by surprise. "Mistress?" She looks to me, wondering what exactly was in the letter. "I am guessing that Baldwin knows of this, as does Perth. Except for us, it seems." My hands go to my hips, she looks away as I breath in through my nose, sighing in the process of letting go. "Get the kids clothing and toys packed. You are to leave the day after tomorrow." She blinks, utterly at a loss. "What of you, Mistress?" I turn my gaze from her to the slow burning fire within the study. "I am to stay, make sure Nathaniel Howe is comfortable at least. I will leave within the two weeks he is here. All of you are to go with the children." She shifts, her hands behind her back she was doing her normal nervous gesture of pulling her fingers. "May I stay with you, Mistress?" I smile, shifting my gaze from the fire to her. "I would like that, Ashalle."

* * *

"Mummy," Eleanor's hazel eyes sparkle with the onward tears trying to break through. "Why can't we stay with you?" I smile, put on a brave face, just like my mother used to do for me. "Your father wants to spend some time with you." Maric tugs on the trousers I was wearing. "But why can't we spend time with both of you?" He pleads. "Darling, you both have never been out of Redcliffe. This will be your first time in Denerim and it will be your new... home." The word _home_ sounded bitter when it left my lips and they both picked up on it. At least they had their father's cheery personality. "But mummy," Eleanor whines. I know that this was hard for them but it was even harder for me. "Go with Ser Perth, I promise you. I will be right behind you." I kiss the top of both their blond heads. So opposite of me, I have come to realize as I watch them climb up into the carriage with Perth and Baldwin.

They looked more like their father then me. They had the Theirin nose, the Theirin hazel eyes and even the Theirin blond hair. When they laugh they gave me the same sheepish, lazy grin that their father used to give me. Apart of me missed that same smile but I have come to realize, if he ever knew about them my life would come to an end. My fate twists and turns with their own.

My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. "Are you alright, Mistress?" Ashalle looks to me, concern in her eyes. "I am fine, thank you." I gave her an uneasy smile but she accepts it. "Come let's prepare for the arrival of Howe."

* * *

"When your brother told me you died, I did not want to believe it." Nathaniel sat across from me, we both had a bottle of brandy opened. A glass in each hand, I was already feeling the side effects of the brandy in my system. "But here you are, married to Arl Teagan and wasting your life away in hiding." His dark eyes narrow but I look down into my glass. The golden liquid of the brandy seemed more interesting then his nagging. "Lissa, you were always called the Lion of Highever for a reason." His voice softens, I wait for him to get to his point. "You are not supposed to be locked away in this... gilded cage." I blink back the tide of emotion wanting to rush forward. "Nathaniel... don't." I start but he does not stop. "I spoke with your husband," he pours himself another glass and tops my own off. "He explained your... situation to me." I look up, blinking back more tears that want to fight free. "I know of what you did, Lis. You deserve this happiness but those children deserve to know who their father is. As does Fergus and everyone else."

He moves from where he was sitting. I watch him get up and move down to the seat next to me. The small two-seated couch seemed smaller than I remember. "When you were younger, you used to ask me over and over again if you could learn how to fight. Your father nearly lost it when I asked him; so when Gilmore came into the picture... your father told me the real reason as to why he was there." This much I knew already. "When I heard from Fergus about what had happened to Gilmore at the hands of my father, I started to hate the family I came from." I swallow down the lump in my throat, he was pushing it. "You, Lis, are an amazing woman and from what Arl Teagan has said, an amazing mother." He reaches out, hesitantly the palm of his hand captures my cheek. The tears come, a rush from my eyes. I sniff, sucking back the air as much as possible.

"Lis, I didn't mean..." I grip his hand within my own. "I thought I could live," I mutter through my tears. "I thought I could be happy without having to see his angry looks for leaving Loghain alive." I have never seen compassion within Nathaniel's eyes before but it was there. "The words he said the night before I left for battle, he hated me so much. The thought of knowing I was pregnant, the moment I found out. I couldn't bring myself to tell him." Before I can continue his arms around me. "Lis, what you had to do was what made you strong. You are the Hero of Ferelden, not because you slayed the Archdemon but because you brought this country together. Alistair... err, King Alistair, couldn't rule without your help." I blink back the tears as I curl my legs up closer to him. "Thank you," I mumble under my breath but he had seemed to hear it.

* * *

Two weeks after Nathaniel had arrived, he had picked up on everything it takes to run the Arling of Redcliffe. "You are quite a natural." I whisper to him, leaning over as he goes over the paperwork before a group of Banns. "I do not see why you need me here, still." He looks up to me, the little twinkle in his eyes. "Why thank you, milady." I snort and excuse myself from the room. With the door closed behind me, I rest my back against it. "Mistress? Your things are packed. Will we leave tomorrow?" Pushing myself away, I let out a gentle sigh and nod. "Yes, we'll be leaving tomorrow. I believe Arl Howe has everything he needs to get situated." She smiles, seeing the small weight lifted from my shoulders.

The next morning I fixed the saddle upon the horse. My blades tucked within their respected scabbards. My gear tucked neatly against the back of the saddle. It has been many, many years since I traveled anywhere with any of my old gear. Surprisingly enough my old scalemail armor still fits me. A little snug but that probably had something to do with the fact I haven't lifted a sword in seven years. "So you're rushing off without saying good bye?" Nathaniel speaks behind me but I knew he would be here to greet me. "I wouldn't dare do such a thing." I smirk, turning around. "You will be greatly missed." My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him into a close embrace. "And I will miss you greatly." I press my lips to his cheek, he smiles a little under the kindness of my touch. We pull away from each other, his eyes drape over me but I know that look. "It may have been almost seven years since I lifted my sword. But I am no Orlesian Wallflower." The smirk is there when he rolls his eyes at my remark. "Yes, well be careful. I know you may still have that Mabari I bought you all those years ago, but you both are catching on in years." My eyes narrow as I playfully punch in him in the shoulder. "I am not getting old..." I scowl but it was the playful bark from Louie that finished our little banter. "Come on, Louie." I whistle and move to sling my leg over the back of the horse. "Ashalle?" I call as she comes riding out of the barn, quite gracefully. "I am ready, mistress."

"Well, Nathaniel, take care of yourself. If you ever need anything, I'm only in Denerim." I wink and his hands go behind his back. "And you remember that you are always welcomed here. My home is your home." With a simple bow of my head, I move the horse but before I start to leave I look over my shoulder. Nathaniel is the distant figure in the background, a hand up to wave me off as I too return it.

* * *

The ride to Denerim was a long and well arduous travel. But we made it in capable time. Surprisingly we did not come across any sort of trouble along the way. Ashalle kept me company just as Louie did. Though it was nothing like it was when I was only nineteen, we still had a good time. We chatted, we shared stories and I learned more of her history. She was half Dalish and the other was a City Elf. Her mother met her father while traveling and they both fell in love. She was raised in the Alienage until the King let the elves have more free reign within the city. She was raised within Denerim, though I did not know why I wasn't surprised by this.

Upon the last day, we could see Denerim in the distance. "Seven bloody years," I mutter but Ashalle hears me as she rides up next to me. "Has it really been that long, mistress?" I look over to her, she was amazingly frail for an elf. Despite having the long blond hair, the dark eyes and the seeping tattoos along her forehead. "Yes, well it has been _that_ long." She laughs, full hearten chuckle that makes me smile at my own response. "Do not fear the city, for 'tis those within the city itself that you should be wary of." Nodding like a fool I was, I wanted to run again. She could sense this as if by will, a hand comes to my shoulder. "Do not fear, mistress, you knew this day would come eventually." I look to her, but it was the compassion in her eyes that spoke more than words. "Now I know why my husband has you work for me." She blushes, the deep red seemed almost delicate against her finely chiseled features. "I will take that as a compliment, mistress."

* * *

We arrived within the night, later than I had hoped for we ran into a few bandits along the way. Feeling the weapons, the swords within the palms of my hands felt just right. Ashalle was remarkable with the bow, I had complimented her when we came into the city gates. I kept the hood of my cloak pulled up over my head, keeping my eyes down along the fine lines of the horse under me. The guards let us pass when Ashalle mentioned who I was. "The King has asked to be notified when you arrived, milady." I look up, Ashalle shares a quiet glance with me but we both felt like turning and running. "I will make sure my mistress arrives as soon as possible." She flashes them an innocent smile and he nods. Taking me in and my Mabari. My stomach turns as we ride past them. They were trying desperately to get a glance but I looked away, keeping my face hidden as far back within my hood as possible.

The Arl of Denerim's estate came into view, Ashalle slowed down to a stop before me and looked over her shoulder. "Tell me something," She asks as she moves to ride beside me. "Why would the King want to know when you arrived, mistress?" I sigh, not knowing how to answer that question. "Probably out of respect of a woman of my station. If I understand correctly, it is just a formality." She nods, but I know what she was thinking. "He is not married, you know." She shifts her gaze to me, a little sly for someone such as her. "And I _am_ married." I push. Her laughter was quite contagious. "From the stories I have heard, you two were once lovers." I look away, the blush rising in my cheeks from her words. "Milady!" I can hear a voice calling for us just as we rounded the castle. "The King is here, Arl Teagan, wanted you to be notified the second you arrived." That pit in my stomach just fell a few more feet.

Sliding off of my horse, I grip the reins and lead the horse into the barn. The stable master greeted me, for it was the same one from Redcliffe. "My lady, if you wish you may stay here just a little longer..." I shift my gaze to him. "No, no Richard, it is fine. Thank you for your offer." Ashalle is at my side as is Louie as I sling my pack over my shoulder, my blades at my waist but the sounds of voices, movement and shouting hits me as soon as I open the door into the kitchen. The cook looks up, she smiles a little seeing us in a such a frazzled state. Blood, mud, sweat and other things I just wanted off of me, stuck to my armor, body and hair. Matting everything down completely.

"And these are the children, Teagan." That voice, my feet stop in mid step. Ashalle's hands are on my waist, pushing me forward. "From what I understand they are in his study." I look behind me, with my face obscure she could still make out the scowl. "And where is your wife, Teagan? I understand she is a beauty to behold. Or at least that is what my men speak of her when they saw her." I swallow my courage and let Ashalle open the door to the study. There was shifting from within the room, I wait outside. "My mistress, has arrived. Do you wish to see her now or later, milord?" I could hear the sigh from Teagan. I knew what he was thinking... either get this over-with quickly or just wait for as long as possible. "Ashalle, bring her in. I am sure the children will wish to see their..." Before I know it, the door flies open. "Mummy!" Eleanor cries when she sees me. "Mummy!" Maric calls out from behind her. Well they seemed to make the choice for us.

They both grab a gloved hand, I am being dragged through the door but the hood of my cloak still covers my matted hair and face. "And this is she, Teagan?" I look over, my breath catches in my throat. Alistair... oh Maker he has changed. He is leaner but his shoulders, his chest is still quite square. His hair is a little longer. More shaggier upon the top of his head. He was tired, the circles under his eyes were evident but he looked so... the longing within me grips at my chest. But it is when his eyes meet my own, he too senses it. The taint within my own blood that sings out to his own. "She's... She's a Grey Warden?" He looks to Teagan, who looked like he needed a strong drink. "She's not just any Grey Warden," Teagan moves to his feet. Walking slowly over to me, only stand just before me. "I am sorry, my love." I know what he is about to do. I tip my head down, looking to the small hands that are holding my own. My bottom lip slips between my teeth, chewing upon it nervously.

His hands pull back the hood of my cloak but it was the sharp intake of breath from Alistair that causes my stomach to do flips. I look between the set of eyes between the children before me. "Mummy, do you know the King?" Eleanor asks of me, her bright eyes shining in the soft light of the room. "Yes, darling." But I look up, Teagan is watching, waiting for my reaction. "What now, my love?" I whisper to him but he moves away. "Teagan, leave us." Alistair's voice was demanding but I close my eyes. "Come on you two, let's get ready for bed." I kneel down, wrapping my arms around them both. Kissing each cheek but the grimace upon their faces when they smell me. "You stink, mummy." I laugh a little. "Yes, mummy had some problems on the way here." I stand back up and bring Teagan in closer to me. My lips seeking out his own but he pulls back. My heart breaks with that single, simple gesture.

They leave, tis only Alistair and I within the room.

"Why?" The question leaves his lips but I keep my distance, my eyes avoiding his own. "Damn it, Elissa, why?" His fists hits the desk, it shakes under the pressure. "Because, _your majesty_, I did not deserve to be in your world. I allowed the man who betrayed everything we believed in to live because I felt the need of the Wardens came over my own personal desire." I bring my gaze to meet Alistair's. My own was hard, dark. My chin held up in the air, I was stronger than this but my legs were shaking. "I deserved happiness and I found it with, Teagan." I purr his name only causing Alistair to close his eyes. "I have two beautiful children, whom I love and will gladly die for." But his eyes open, he moved slowly towards me. "Those two..." He looks to the door and I look away. "Those two are mine, aren't they?" My stomach twists. "So you have learned something since you've become king." I smirk, but he doesn't take it as a joke. "You _lied _to me." I grimace hearing the tone of his voice. It was dark, harsh and it stung. He was very close to me, I could feel the warmth of his body seeping through my armor. His eyes drape over me but I know that look. That hungry look. "I'm sorry, your majesty." He closes his eyes, hearing my own tone meeting his.

His hand finds my wrist, I do not fight him. His fingers curling around it, biting through the armor of my gloves. Before I could respond, he throws me against the wall, I hit it. My back smacking hard against the solid stone. I bring my hand up to hit him, defend myself but he grips my other wrist. Holding both above my head. His body pressing against my own, fitting perfectly against it. My hips rise, my head turns up to meet his eyes. "You betrayed everything, Lissa." His voice was low, quiet but his lips were close to my own. "You hid children from me, when they are both heirs to my throne. Thus they are in danger now if Anora finds out about them." I look away, he had a point... a very good point. "Then you must do something about her." He presses against me, his head lowers. His lips are closer, I want to stand up on my tip-toes. To close the distance of the few centimeters between us. "I will do something about her, when they are named heirs." He does not hesitate, as his lips seek out my own. My lips are forced apart by his tongue, as it slips between them easily. He lets go of my hands, they drop around his neck as I pull his body into my own. I forgot everyone and everything. He moans against my mouth, I can feel his desire, his hunger. For his need only matched my own. But he pulls away, his lips leaving mine.

"If I name them heirs, you will have to become Queen." I blinked, trying to repeat what he said to me. "Excuse me?" He keeps his distance from me, his back turns. "They will not be bastards." So that would mean I'd have to marry him. "You must be jesting?" He doesn't move, his shoulders slump forward but it is this ping of guilt in my stomach. "I'm not." He turns back to me. "I can force the issue, if you wish to fight it." But I was already married. To a man who loves my children, a man who has stood by me through it all. I did not want to break that man. "No." I mumble. "Excuse me?" It was his turn to get caught off by my words. "I am married to Teagan, I will not hurt him in this way." He is laughing now. "Teagan will understand, of all people. It will be a marriage of convenience. Because you have my children, they will need their mother. There has to be nothing else behind it." I blink, at an utter loss for words. "I will be by tomorrow night," He moves to pass me. "We will have a private dinner here, and we will discuss things further." I clasp my hands to my chest and bow to him as he leaves me alone within the study.

I really hate that man.

**

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A/N:** This story is a little harder to write than most because she is a very complicated, torn woman. I hope that over time I can slip into her shoes much easier than the others I have written for. As usual, I hope you enjoy this! And there will be other Nathaniel moments within the story. As well as other companions that are bound to appear once the world knows she's alive. So sit back and enjoy! Much love! :*

And I do not own Dragon Age: Origins, belongs to Bioware! *-*


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